He would come home a couple times a month, we would meet in the city for dinner etc. Later in her early 80’s she told me: every decade has its work, every decade has its blessing. I have been reaching out to friends and crying my heart out. I found that I didn’t have the super sadness I had had before with goodbyes… But I knew it would be a few days and she would be back. My daughter is not comfortable when she does visit bc of my mother in laws old school ways. I have been beating myself up that I should have tried talking her into staying closer to home the first couple of years just to get ahead. Perhaps we feel this because we were/are great mothers! I cry daily because I will miss the “live of my life grandchildren” they are being told by their mom and other grandmother that they will be s me to live with the princesses etc etc . I am getting older, and my baby girl will never really be part of my life again. We all have periods where we need help (I know I have!) And like most of you, the few times every year we get together are definitely a highlight for me. Hope it helps someone. Somebody please just make me believe that there is happiness again after motherhood. I spent the majority of my youth crying from place to place because of multiple family members I was connected to, but NONE of them were on the same side or really tried to get along. I hate the thought of leaving. Your post sounded so much like me. Guys don’t handle it the same as their wives when the adults kids have moved out they seem to be head over heals they don’t understand fully the emotions mothers go through it helps to explain to your husband what you’re feeling and maybe he will be more understanding and comfort you more especially with a big hug it’s time to invest all you can now with your mate spend time together doing fun stuff and be good friends always look at what you had it’s time these kids get a life of their own and they will respect you both and communicate well with you. We feel hallow, useless. Now im hoping to see him for the holidays but i guess that will depend on what his girlfriend wants to do. She left today… I thought no one could be as sad as I, but you guys are breaking my heart. We both took care of our aging Mom who got cancer and passed in 2009. Saying goodbye was heart wrenching as usual. We moved 6 hours away from our 3 young adult sons for my spouse’s career 1.5 years ago. He is 21 and we are pretty close I think, we talk a lot and share things. By dreadful plane, it is over 4 hrs away. While we both have other friends there is this amazing relationship that we share. I wish I could give you an answer, but I too am going through the same thing. My eldest son is leaving for London for an extended time. I hear from everyone and see comments on the site..” She will be fine and succeed…you should be proud….spend that extra time nurturing and loving on the youngest sibling. Thank you for being there. I am now crushed. Today I took our dog to a park that he and I would go to walk the pooch, and i had to wear sunglasses as I wept walking the route we always did. I also had a girlfriend at work tell me that the some of the most special times that she’s had with her parents are family vacations. We all got along very well, and had a lot of fun together. She loves her job and is very accomplished,as is her husband to be. We actually were interesting people, but after having kids, we became ‘so and so’s mom’…and I don’t know about the rest of you, but I totally lost my identity during those years. Still not talking to her after 35 years. Nice visit, but really is so difficult. I’m in the same situation as far as my two daughters I do wonder what this next phase of life will bring. I know your lost, hurt and depressed feelings. His parents live near the city. My emotions were off the chart! Mary, good luck to you as well. He didn’t want me to go with him as he was afraid he would change his mind. It doesn’t mean I cannot miss them when they aren’t here! I feel so alone! Like you, people tell me to join something or find a hobby. Now I am concerned for my husband, who is still extremely weepy. (Although one is still close to home-I still will miss the other so much.) I can almost not bear it. It really doesn’t get easier when they leave after a great visit. You are not alone, have hope! Get a hobby. I feel your pain! It’s an awful human part of life, I’m dreading the ‘what might bes’, and I do feel your heartache. They see my son fairy often but I am lucky to see him once a year. They really are going to move. I have tried to figure it out, these are some ideas I’ve thrown around: I had bad postpartum depression with his mom, her and I have always been very close, I had a bad miscarriage after her then had to have a total hysterectomy due to endometriosis (wanted more know da but God had other plans), her baby looks exactly like her when she was that age, I bonded too much with him while they lived here, afraid his dad is trying to take them further away from us. My husbands and my relationship has been rocky from the beginning, I have not been able to legally work, drained all my savings, feel very isolated as it is just my husband and myself 24/7. How did you find this type of support and can you share any of it with me? Don’t know why the emotionalism. We are in our children forever. Do you get to have nice long visits when you get together? To tell you the truth..all I want to do is cry and not get out of bed. We are so blessed to have all of our children and grandchildren living right here in the same town. It took us decades to get my own mother medication for her depression…but now she is like a new person! I’m in therapy but it doesn’t work overnight! I just was not ready for him to leave yet I really don’t know why I should even hold on thank you so much for posting ladies Hang in there Terry. My 2 daughters each live a plane ride away. I divorced when my kids were in middle school, and remarried when my kids were in college. I have tried going back to school, volunteering, but am having difficulty adjusting to the fact that life goes on and things change. download Playing Dead WATCH FULL MOVIE -- 9706fa. I am not sure how I will keep from falling apart in front of her, but I know it will be very important. This will be the first Thanksgiving / Christmas without all my kids. The eldest is married with my 2 GrandDaughters. I left behind 4 kids, 2 grandbabies and my significan other (temporarily). Praying for all of you moms out there- at least we have each other.❤️. She will probably come over to watch our TV and Netflix shows we like to watch together while her BF is at work. I find myself daily thinking, “I want my son back!!! I want to retire, but I feel I will just lay on the couch and die. I waited all my life looking forward to it and finally had them in my mid 30’s. He says we’ll be here in St Louis for 5 to 7 years. Now I know why my mother nagged us incessantly to visit her all the time and insisted on Sunday dinners. By now they are in the air getting close to their home and I won’t see them again for months. I have a son, 41, mentally ill that lives with me. Parting Glances (1986), written and directed by the late Bill Sherwood, is still one of the best gay-themed independent films ever released. As we (on both sides of the parent-child relationship) got better at understanding our new roles as adult to adult things definitely improved. All I ever wanted was to be a decent father and now all I see in our house are ghosts of the past. Take care 💛. It’s never a dull moment. I wish there was a magic button to turn off the hurt also! Your post made me realize how difficult this must be for her also. She left end of June and I was able to see her one wk in July. When faced with the decision of moving so he could keep his job and I could be an at home mom or my returning to work and him finding another job where he might get potentially laid off we chose the former. I know he will be fine, it is me. Any suggestions? They are moving out together so I am empty nesting all at once. I had no idea that leaving was going to hurt so much on both sides — I thought she wanted me to leave after 25 years lol! Finally, nothing in this life is permanent. I now have a grandson and I miss seeing him grow up. I have felt that way a few times with both of our daughters. I can’t believe I just saw your post. Recognize it as a sign of how much you love them and how much they love you. I want him to be successful, I want him to be happy, but god dam it is killing me. I care and understand your pain and emptiness. this is a very scary uneasy time for me, I feel bad for my hubby since I am a mess most days. Not expecting them to be hands on care givers but just available if we need something. Thanks for listening. He says however that many people find it very helpful and perhaps there will be a time when I will be receptive to the technique. They get the second helping even if we haven’t eaten yet. We sacrificed so much to build this family and now they are just tearing it all apart. I still have a high school or at home though and I’m just preparing for the day that he leaves. I am hurting, feeling like I’m insane-and so thankful I found this tonight. But I am not. Who wrote this and how can we get more? You are a shining example of her beauty because you reflect a pure heart filled with compassionate concern so much that you are able to see things from her perspective. I actually dont see a point going on. Have to think back of my youth and how my mom didn’t expect anything less than me making my own way, it was about me not her…I didn’t love her any less…can’t make this an obsession or accelerate my age or death for the sake of the natural chane of life. I enjoyed every minute of mothering my daughter – it was probably the one and only GOOD thing in my life. I’m not in good health and I’m afraid I will never see her again. When she was growing up we were very close. My son comes to visit every time his school has vacation so that is really amazing, but expensive. I guess one of the hardest things in life is to enjoy each stage on its own terms and to accept with grace, that your children have their own path and you can’t walk that path with them. I hope I can get through this, it’s so very painful. I can so relate to this, I have 1 child, a son. We finally get ten days with our oldest and all I can do is think how he’s not my baby anymore. So….if I went to the exhausting effort of unloading all my world possessions and moved half way around the planet, I’d have to live cold, poor and on my own. I,too, sometimes wonder if it’s best to not have visits then to go through the pain of them leaving. Thank you so much for your quick reply. It’s hard. Your mom will adjust and even though you know it’s rough for her, release your guilt; it’s too heavy for you to carry. Today is my last day of my visit with my daughter. My husband tries just as hard as you do to make the connection and feels hurt when our son doesn’t respond. I try not to take it personally, although it isn’t easy sometimes…I was ‘mom’ for 35 years, from the really young age of 20, and to be honest, it has been like I don’t have a clue who I am since they have left home- and that has been a bit of a scary one. slafleur5@gmail.com is my email address if you get this at all. At least I’d have their respect. My three are all grown now. Teaching was not his first choice, but the only way he could get experience on his resume. How much I have hurt her. My oldest son is moving 1500 miles away in 4 weeks. I think…she won’t be here anymore. She reciprocates the same feeling that it’s hard and I think to myself then why are you doing it. Kids miss them terribly, but try to focus on the fact that at least we have Skype. One day your boys will know you care. Please don’t watch me leave.” I guess it makes her sad. Just takes time I guess. Oh my gosh, we ARE twins!! It’s shocking and gives me anxiety. He + his wife who is from his hometown area are doing well. That’s 2000 miles away. I’m just so sad. I’m envious of my friends that have grandchildren that live near them. It gets harder. In the last five years I have had medical issues that can all be improved with exercise. I was energized by the fact that everything I did was for them. We are very close. My Dad, on leaving after a visit, said “it leaves a hole in my heart every time I have to say good-by”. I’m been with my son since age 15 on my own single parent no family support we grew up together now I’m in my 30s living alone for the first time I’ve been sad for 2 years now they say time heals I pray it gets easier please pray for me & my son. I cannot believe this grief. I’m just waiting for my soon to be husband to call off the wedding because he can’t deal with my craziness. I don’t know if you believe in God or as I like to call him, LOVE, but there is something in this world bigger than each of us. nice to know i’m not alone. I can totally relate to your situation. I’m like you…reading all of these let’s me know I’m not alone. I’m a 41 year old mother of one son who is now 21. I feel like a failure as a parent. We shall see what happens. Theodore Ganger is an actor, known for Parting Glances (1986). My son says go,he lives all over the place with his job. I try not to burden the kids with my uncontrollable sadness at times – by waiting until they leave or hiding in my walk-in closet and sobbing safely there until they leave. I can let go, but my love for them is stronger than ever.Life is too short. When Will 'Fruits Basket' Season 3 Be on Hulu? Much of the time I just wish I could remember what it was like for an 8 and 4 yr old to rush into my arms when I got home. This is so stinking hard but I’m putting my faith in my God and faith knowing His plans for her are much better than mine. I understand completely the tears. It’s what my husband and I aimed for. I just dream of those days when it was me and the three amigos living a life that was hard but full of love. I’m sorry for your pain Wanda. Have a little compassion. Parting Glance s details 24 hours in the lives of Michael and Robert, ( Richard Ganoung and John Bolger), a longtime couple, living in New York City, who are about to temporarily separate. I had a very traumatic childhood that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. My husband (54) and I (52) do not work outside the home. Maybe it’s because she’s so much farther away now. He has a good job. Her only answer is to throw everything away that they have worked for to move home with no jobs or home and start their lives over at almost 60. His father has remained in touch with them though and slowly stepped up for the kids, even helping 2 get jobs, my 20yo and 15yo. Much love to you. Then there’s the driving to the airport and then the goodby’s and I’m alone again and not worth talking to and I wonder too what is the point… It doesn’t get easier. I am enraged now. After reading other posts I am thankful that she is only moving less than two hours away. I was giddy before and during her visit. My daughter is marrying a Brit on Friday. It is a difficult road sometimes as we grow older, but we cannot know what the future holds for certain so perhaps things will work out better than expected. I understand your feelings and I am pretty much the same way. But I am older than I look and have some of the issues such as failing knees, etc. I can’t live like this and I don’t want him to ever be far from me. My friends are wonderful – but in the end, all I see is the empty space on the floor at the base of the stairs where he piled his shoes; all I can think about are the bike rides that I now have to take alone. Well now they like it there, okay. Dads just don’t feel the same. My oldest lives in the same town as I do and I see her family often. Of course, I just started sobbing again as I write this after having a few moments tear-free. During the height of the Reagan-era AIDS pandemic, Bill Sherwood (IAC/NMC 67-68, IAA 68-70) released his first and only film—Parting Glances. I am definitely grateful I did not have an 18 yr old leave for the service or someone move to China to teach ESL, but it remains hard just the same as we are left to pick up the memories and hope to make more. He is being transferred and her family is down there, so I get it but for me personally I’m devastated. Mama LJ, I feel that they are like, I am concerned for my daughter has not talked a! 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